Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Life and Death

My life has become a mess. It is like a house that has been junked with unwashed utensils, under-brushed furniture, broken walls and floors, cobwebbed corners of the walls and unwashed mountain of linen lying carelessly.  I look into myself and wonder what should be done first, to set things right; wash the linen or clean the utensils or brush the furniture…? Too many drudgery standing like demons and smiling despicably at me. My mind is in dilemma and is dangling in a confused state. Just one thing, I think, is easy to accomplish, that is to kill myself..it is relatively an easy job in terms of execution. It  doesn’t test the amount of mental lethargy in you; once and for all, all your quandaries go to oblivion. But where is the courage to carry out even that. People say that it is the cowards who commit suicide but what I understand  is that a person who is committing suicide will have  at-least a minuscule of courage in him. I swear, I  the  biggest coward of all living beings,  lack that too. I wish someone had deliberately broken my head into pieces, I would have been obliged. I feel that the hind part of my head is carrying some heavy burden and as usual, not my obnoxious heart. What should I do? I took a two rupee coin and tossed between the options of death and life. The coin fell, showing its tail...telling me that I have to live.

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