Thursday, May 5, 2011

Kochi IPL- do they deserve a team?

10th Nov 2009

One winter morning Shashi sar woke up in his comfy Delhi residence thinking lazily about the busy schedules for the day. Before he could yawn out his morning sluggishness, he heard his mobile ring. He took the cell phone that was stuffed under his pillow and saw an unknown number flickering in the display. “Some Kerala number?”, he thought. He brought his mobile close to his ear and heard a coarse voice of a middle aged man,

“Good Morning saar, I’m the T.C.Mathai. I’m the secretary of a closet cricket association”

“Uhh”, Sashi sar (SS) shrugged his shoulders in dismay; Some idiot speaking in broken English, he thought.

SS is always a people’s leader and hence took care not to outrightly dismiss anybody from his state even if the person was a preposterous dumb head. His philosophy, like any other seasoned politician was that never shoo away people as they are voters who can make or break the career of a politician.

SS asked in a pleasant tone,” What can I do for you sir?”

“Saar you knows me very very well, I’m the meeting you 2-3 times in a public functions at Kochi and Thiruvananthapuram”

SS just recognized his voice and remembered that he had met this guy quite a few times at various programs related to cricket; an obese who represented the class of people who made fortunes without moving their ass.

“Oh tell me Mr.Mathai, what can I do for you?”

Saar, a wonderful chance has the come to make a team from Kerala in IPL… you will support us…no?

“Definitely it’s a good thing Mr.Mathai…I’ll definitely give you all my moral support.”

“Ayyo, saar model support is not enough… we want your influence”

“Oh Gosh, I’m in a responsible position and how can I stoop to the level of influencing and stuff…please spare me from this”, SS spoke anxiously wanting to get out of that tantrum as soon as possible.

“Saar don’t say no… you will be the doing good to the state by helping us… once a team comes, the economy will grow and prosperity and prosperity everywhere”!

“Whose economy is going to grow…yours?” SS restricted the spontaneous thought that arouse in his mind to himself and said,” I know Mr.Mathai that the people of the state could benefit, but for that why should I tarnish my reputation by indulging in undemocratic practices?”

Saar you will also benefit… “, Mathai tried his usual acquiescent  stuff

“I don’t want to taint my image for paltry benefits…”Said an exasperated SS.

Mathai chuckled as if pacifying SS. He said,” Saar, you think small benefits, I can arrange big benefits… you only have to “sweat”..”

“Sweat?”, SS asked perplexed

Mathai chuckled again and said,” I’ll tell you in the person… I’ve some Gujaratis who will invest the big money…everything goes the well we will have the team of Kerala.”

When Mathai hung the phone SS contemplated,” one stone- two birds… not a bad idea”

19th April 2010

Mathai sat in his in living room and gasped at the TV visuals of the sorry figure of Shashi sar coming out of the PM’s residence tendering his resignation. A coveted position- flunged away for nothing! “ Sweat equity aur kya kya? Kochi IPL aur kya kya” Equity be gaya…kaam be gaya  aur naam bhi gaya! SS seriously wished that he could squeeze the nut called Mathai.

After two days when Mathai’s guilt has dried up, he called SS from his Kochi residence to render his condolence .

Saar, Good Morning the Mathai here.”

“What now?”, SS voice carried all the bitterness that was in his heart

“I’m the sorry… that foolish fellow Modi is the responsible for all the problems…”

“Shut up … now listen, I have lost everything, don’t have to remind me of the bygone things…just do me a favour…”, SS’s voice, although was now devoid of the bitterness it had a few seconds ago, was demanding.

Mathai asked in a confused tone,” what saar”.

“I have lost a lot in the bargain…no problem, but there’s huge outcry for matches to be played in my constituency also…you should make the capital also as one of the home ground.”

What SS heard was a long guffaw from Mathai. SS waited patiently until the guffaw stopped. He asked,” hmm? Why are you farting like an animal?”

Mathai got serious,” you can the ask me my life but not venue…Kochi will be the lone venue and this team will be the known as Kochi team.”

“Why are you so admant about Kochi?”

“Haha..Kochi is the only vibrant city in Kerala…you know and it has the city crowd in lakhs who’ll watch matches ”, Mathai slammed phone in despise.

27th April 2011

Mathai sat at a corner of the 55000-capacity stadium and looked miserably at the empty stands. His Henchman was sitting next to him and counting the no. of spectators in the stands.

A dejected Mathai said,” stop this nonsense; tell me how many people are there?”

 His henchman said apologetically,” if 2 more guys had come it would have become 3000 people”

“Already half of it are free passes, 2 or even 10 will not make much difference in the collections, Mathai said in a sad tone and then asked,”Leave it, tell me where are the owners?”

Henchman smiled embarassingly and said,” They said they are going to the marine drive, to have some peace of mind…”

Mathai, inadverdently said,” hope they won’t jump into the sea!”

Mathai thought in embarrassment about his famous two words that he gave to the TV channels, to the poor Shashi sar and to various press walas – VIBRANT KOCHI !

 He walked out of the stadium when the final nail on his team’s coffin was thrusted in by the opposition team. He headed towards the Kaloor church to light a candle and when he reached there, he was bedazzled to see the team owners standing in genuflection in front of the church in the dark!

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